March 11, 2008 12:00 AM

Crowded House

a nightmare

I was home alone when Angelyn came to visit. We were sitting in the other room when I heard noise. I went to the bedroom and discovered that the neighbor was having a party in our house. He and his friends had crawled through the open fire escape window. I yelled and made a fuss and then they left. Later I went back in the bedroom only to discover that they had come back.

The upstairs neighbors, a gay couple, wanted me to vacuum the carpeted stairs leading to the basement. They made reference to some joke about the ‘untrodden path’ that their comedienne friend Tina Fey (or Sarah Silverman?) made, inferring that the path to the basement was neglected (because it was so often untrodden) and needed attention.

I became hysterical about the uninvited guests but the crowd seemed indifferent to my fit. They were only concerned about having a good time. I threatened to call the cops and eventually reached the Greenpoint Police on the phone. The officer on the other end was very nice and kept thanking me for reporting the incident. I just wanted them to come and make the people leave my house.

In the mean time, a class that had been taking place in another part of the house let out. The students, including a tall, awkward girl I knew from high school, were now mingling with the party-goers even though they were very different crowds.

Eventually the police did arrive and chased everyone away. Angelyn and I were the only ones left. She was getting ready to go back to Florida. I was sorry that her visit had to be filled with such drama.

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