posts created during March 2007

March 30, 2007 09:36 AM

Teary Eyed

On my way to work this morning I was greeted by a marching band complete with dance detail (“steppers”). Although the performance wasn’t specifically in my honor, I appreciated the welcome. The spectacle brought tears to my eyes and gave me goose bumps. Something about the focus, energy and discipline of the kids touched me. But as some people well known, I am easily moved and cry for lots of different reasons including ATT commercials on TV, radio news broadcasts, things in the deli aisle, …

Brooklyn Steppers
Brooklyn Music and Arts Program Steppers!

(0) comments | link | category: misc.

March 28, 2007 09:00 PM

Wild in the Streets

This week has been super busy. I played Snow Patrol Tour Photographer on Monday, saw my friend Jason Webley play with Corn Mo on Tuesday, witnessed elephants walking down 34th Street later that night and saw a large opossum on my street this morning.

Snow Patrol
Snow Patrol

Snow Patrol
Snow Patrol

Jason Webley
Jason Webley

Elephants on Parade
Squint to See Elephants on 34th Street

Elephants on Parade

Elephants on Parade
Elephants on 34th Street

Opossum in Brooklyn

(0) comments | link | category: photography

March 26, 2007 10:51 AM

New York City Ballet

Today as I was walking to work on Carmine Street in Manhattan I witnessed something amazing. The street cleaner came up behind a row of cars and politely honked. Then, in unison, all of the cars (except one police exempt vehicle) roared to life, turned to the left (blocking oncoming traffic), let the street cleaner do his job and then gracefully backed up into their original parking spots. This choreography was repeated on the next block, only this time the car that didn’t move had a parking ticket. Beautiful.

(0) comments | link | category: new york

March 22, 2007 07:15 PM

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Do I hear what I hear? Sometimes. And I am getting better at listening.

‘You just don’t understand me.’
No, I just don’t understand me.

‘You aren’t giving me credit for the progress I have made.’
No, I am not giving myself credit for the progress I have made.

How does my mind pain me? Let me count the ways…

For most of my life I have been operating under the assumption that when I am grown up I will know what I am supposed to be doing and that I will be happy doing it. Fundamental to this conceit is the belief that I am not currently doing what I am supposed to be doing. Since I have come to the point that it is unbearably painful to live feeling as though I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing, a paradigm shift is in order. I am doing what I am supposed to be doing and I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

I don’t know if it is encouraging or disheartening, but there are things I have known since high school that I am just beginning to believe (or remembering how to). I am a human being, not a human doing. There is no objective reality. I am not in charge.

There are other things I have known since high school that I am letting go. Too much is not enough. Perfect is not enough. I am not enough. (I am too much and not enough. I am perfect. I am enough.)

As long as I am seeking, as long as I am listening, as long as I am learning, as long as I am loving, I am alive. But even if I am not doing any of these things, I am regardless. And even if I were dead, I still would be. And if I were dead, how would I be? Can I shine as brightly in life?

(0) comments | link | category: spirit

March 21, 2007 08:43 PM

More One Shots

It is lots of fun to have a small camera. Although I am not pleased with the Elph in low light situations, I love having a small camera with me so I can take pictures of things that catch my eye. Can you tell I walk over the Pulaski Bridge a lot?

Candle Factory Roof from the Pulaski Bridge
Candle Factory Roof (as seen from the Pulaski Bridge)

turd (movie poster for <em>disturbia</em>)
turd (movie poster for disturbia)

Imitation Crabmeat on the Pulaski Bridge
Imitation Crabmeat on the Pulaski Bridge

Red Balloons on West Street
Red Balloons on West Street

Sodium Lights at the Entrance to the Mid-Town Tunnel
Sodium Lights at the Entrance to the Mid-Town Tunnel

$25 Boobies
$25 Boobies

Cold Ghosk on the Pulaski Bridge
Cold Ghosk on the Pulaski Bridge

(0) comments | link | category: photography

March 17, 2007 09:47 PM

Not In Charge

I am not in charge. As much as I really wanted to got to Las Vegas this weekend to celebrate my brother’s wedding, Mother Nature had other plans. It is hard for me not to feel guilty for not being there, but our flight was cancelled because of the storm and I tried everything I could to get us on a flight today but had no luck.

It seems funny to me that in our modern world we rarely feel the power of nature. We live our lives glibly and curse when things don’t go the way we planned. But in actuality, we are never in charge. I am thankful of being reminded of this, even as I am sad that I don’t get see my family or my friends visiting from Sweden.

(0) comments | link | category: misc.

March 9, 2007 11:13 PM

Three Wishes

If given three wishes by a fairy godmother, as in the heroes of old fairy tales, what would you choose?
- hw question from last week’s gemini horoscope

1) I wish I had enough money so I could retire from working a Job and work full time on my Loves, my avocations - dance, photography, art, life, cooking, eating, sleeping, loving, learning, etc.

2) I wish I could see my path clearly in front of me and follow it with confidence and joy.

3) I wish I had a mainline to God at my disposal, like Tito Puente playing congas. Flow. Energy.

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March 9, 2007 11:12 PM

Jesus Loves Me

Jesus with arms outstretched

On my street there is a statue of Jesus outside St. Joseph’s Home for Boys. Every day I walk by the statue and I think to myself, “Jesus is giving me a hug!” I am not sure why his eyes are downcast. In my personal cosmology, Jesus reminds me of my inner light. He also reminds me to be kind to myself.

Last year my friend Gregory gave me a set of books, In Conversation with God. I never have been a good Catholic; I was baptised as a child and missed all subsequent sacraments. As an adult, I am curious about Catholicism and have adopted some of the iconography, but there is a lot about the religion that I don’t (want to) understand. Since the start of Lent I have been trying to read the daily Lenten conversations. Some of the readings speak to me, some of them just annoy me. I loved reading that I have had a guardian angel since birth. Why didn’t my parents tell me? I don’t understand why each conversation has to end with a perfunctory, “Ask the Blessed Mother for guidance.” Why does she always get stuck as an afterthought at the end of the sermon. sheesh.

(0) comments | link | category: spirit

March 6, 2007 12:16 PM

Grizzly Attack

I dreamt I was being chased by a bear, a big brown grizzly. I was frighted for my life and ploughed deeper and deeper into a thicket until I was cornered in a cave of thorns. At the last moment before the bear was going to eat me, I realized that it was Bear Spirit coming to me and I wasn’t scared anymore. I stopped trying to flee. I woke suddenly flooded with a great sense of relief.

Ever since reading The Shaman’s Body I have been paying more attention to my dreams. Oftentimes exhausted, I find that my sleeping is dreamless and this distresses me. Being only superficially acquainted with Bear, I looked up some information about bear mythology online. Up until now all of my power animals have been winged. I am looking forward to learning more about Bear Medicine.

(0) comments | link | category: dreams

March 1, 2007 09:28 PM

Showered With Blessings

Today didn’t seem to start out as an auspicious day, but it is late in the day now and I can confidently say, “Today was a great day!”

  • Cadin made the air reservations for our wedding trip to Las Vegas and honeymoon to Belize!
  • I ate gluten-free pizza for lunch.
  • My appointment with Dr. W turned out to be a nice conversation, no tears, no self-recrimination.
  • Kiehl’s had a yummy shade of lip gloss, Black Raspberry, that called out my name.
  • Roy Rub’s show Promise Lands at the Lubalin Gallery at Cooper Union was sweet, especially the cross-stiched power tools.
  • As I was walking down Manhattan Ave. on my way home from the L train, I got a call about a part-time dance teaching gig that I had applied to weeks ago. I have an interview next week!
  • When I walked into my building, there were many kids in the stairwell (ie: the playroom [duh]). One of the girls gave me a big hug and then Zina, with her face blue from a lollipop ring, gave me a hug, too.
  • There was an email from Seana in my Inbox when I got home. I can take care of making Char’s travel plans now.

Now I have a kitty in my lap (Sparkles) and I can finish today’s business and then go to bed with a big smile on my face :)

blurry night crane
Night Crane

(0) comments | link | category: misc.